My toothbrush ...

She decided she needed to re-do her bathroom because the toilet she'd had for years had been leaking and making the floor ugly and weak and finally got to a point where something had to be done about it.

Her nephew had time to replace the floors and whatnot RIGHTNOW so it had to be done right now. Fine. She pulls everything out of the bathroom that is laying out and puts it into a clothes basket. I have only my stuff in the shower and my electric toothbrush out. Everything else is hers. LOTS of stuff. I decided to head to work since I wouldn't be able to use the bathroom for hours.

The next morning when I get up she hadn't put anything back into the bathroom yet. I walked into the dining room where she was sitting ...

Me: Hey, what'd you do with my toothbrush? I didn't find it in my drawer. Please tell me it's not in this mess that's in the basket on the floor here.

She: Oh no, I put it in my drawer in the bathroom.

Me: Okay. Thanks. I turned to walk off.

She: But I need to tell you that the dog got a hold of your Scrubbie and tore it up. I got up this morning and it was all over the floor. What a mess. I'll buy you another one.

Me: All right. I walk into the bathroom and look through all the drawers. Twice. Not there. It's not in the bathroom.

She: Oh. It must be out here in the basket then.

Me: Out here where the DOG CAN GET IT??? WTF D??

She: I knew it!! I fucking KNEW it would be something with you. You're never fucking happy are you??

Me: I really don't give a fuck what you do, but this is my toothbrush on the floor where your DOG can obviously get to it!! Why didn't you just put it in my drawer??

She: I didn't have fucking time! Jason was showing up right then and I needed to get everything out of the fucking bathroom!

Me: Then why didn't you just put the damned basket on the table where your puppy wouldn't get to it??

She: I have my shit in there too!!

Me: Did he get into your shit? No. He tore up my shit.

She: I knew you were going to have a problem after last time when I had a party and put your toothbrush under the cabinet and threw a fit.

Me: That's cuz you don't touch other peoples' toothbrushes!! WTF D??

She: I told you my shit is in there too!

Me: Obviously you don't care about whether or not your puppy tears up your shit. You have shit laying on the floor every fucking morning that he's torn up and you don't say anything. This is my TOOTHBRUSH!

She: So fucking what!! Did you even say 'thank you' when I said I was going to buy you another scrubbie? Fuck no you didn't.

Me: Why the fuck would I say thank you for the problem you caused in the first place?? What you should have done was gotten up first thing today, went to the store and bought another one and lead with the fact that you screwed up and said ... I dunno ... maybe that you're sorry?!! Damn D.

She: Fuck you! It's only a piece of shit toothbrush. I'll buy you another one. Would that make you feel better??

Me: Yes!! That'll be $250. for my SonicCare. Thanks.

She: WHAT?? Why would you pay that much for a toothbrush??

Me: 'Cuz it's the best.

She: Well ... it's not like you use it.

Me: What are you ... two years old?? Damn. Can't get the response you want so you have to try and get the heat off you by making up some stupid shit like that?? Talk about childish. SO. I'm going to plug my toothbrush back in. When Jay gets here let me know and I will unplug it and stick it in my drawer.

She: I think I can handle putting it in the fucking drawer!!

Me: That's ok. Just let me know. I'll take care of it.

Jay came over. Finished working on the paint in the bathroom, she didn't wake me. I get up about 4 hrs later and she is all excited about her bathroom. It looks great. I am standing in the hallway while she explains what she had to do, replace, etc. Her dog comes into the hallway while she's talking and I ignore him until I hear him licking at something. I look down and see the basket with all the bathroom stuff in it there in the hallway.

Me: NO!! WTF D ... you put my toothbrush on TOP of the stuff this time instead of putting it in the drawer? I asked you to wake me up to put it away and you said you could take care of it now your damned dog is LICKING MY TOOTHBRUSH!!

She: Never fucking good enough for you is it?

Me: Holy fucking Baby Jesus, could you not just think about someone else once?? You don't have to like or respect me but damn it I PAY YOU to respect my shit. If you don't want to deal with it then don't fucking touch it. Not so fucking hard.

She: Well, maybe your shit shouldn't be in the bathroom!

Me: You want me to put my toothbrush someplace else other than the bathroom?? Seriously. That's just fucking asinine. Just don't touch my shit and we'll be fine. Let me know if you need something moved and I'll take care of it. Thank you.

I went into my room.

Still haven't gotten a replacement scrubbie or toothbrush.
 





 

I'm starting in the middle of this but ...

I walk into the kitchen, roommies at the dining room table.

Her: Fuckin' Bernie. She's so damned stupid I wish she'd just die. this is her best friend since 6 yrs old. 

Me: Aw now. No you don't.

Her: She's so fucking stupid! She is going to lose her unemployment in 10 wks and I just sent her 14 pages of text as to what she can do to talk to the legislators and she responds with 'Did you talk to so and so about the BBQ?' This whole fucking country is going to shit and I tell her how she can fix it and all she is worried about is eating??

Me: So you expect her to fix it all by herself in the next 10 wks?

Her: No. But damn it I explained to her what the problem is and she isn't worried about it at all!

Me: So you're actually upset because she doesn't think the same way you do?

Her: Yes!! All my friends are so fucking stupid! Their children and grandchildren are growing up in this fucked up country and none of them are trying to do anything about it!

Me: Hm. Honestly, I probably wouldn't have responded either. You tend to get a little mean when it comes to politics. I don't disagree with you that if everyone that thought as I did got together and said something we could probably make a difference, but we aren't.

Her: And that is exactly the problem!! None of you will stand up and fix this country. You're all trying to let us fix it for you! All YOU care about is knitting!

Me: C'mon now, you don't need to insult me. I don't insult you when you continually call it knitting instead of crocheting even though I correct you ... every single time.

Her: It's not an insult. Not really. Well kinda. If you guys would all get together we could pull this country out of the hole you are digging for the rest of us.

Me: Ah. So now this is all my fault?

Her: Yes!! Well no. I don't mean that. But if you would stand up for your rights ...

Me: How did we make this about me and it being ALL on me that this country is being run into the ground when in fact you started out mad at your friend for not responding to you appropriately so you could lecture her, yet again, on politics?

Her: All my friends are fucking idiots. They're so damned stupid.

Me: Buh bye.